I bring my beautiful child-self outside to play. We…
go to the beach
wiggle our toes in the sand and water
build a huge castle with a moat
hop and run in the shallow water
dive underneath the crashing waves
hop with the waves as they repeatedly hit us in the chest
toss balls and Frisbees
join beach games
flop on our towels to bask in the sun
drink yummy fruity drinks
dance like crazy to the loud music
head home as the sun starts setting
fall asleep as soon as our heads hit our pillows
I was prompted to write on this topic because I am participating in Women Who Write Rock, a writing retreat spearheaded by Helene Rose. Find out more about this amazing woman and the services she offers at her website Be Brilliant Network.
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I am SO close to finishing up the Zero to Hero blog challenge! Can I get a hip hip hooray?
As I move forward, I really want to know what YOU would like to read on my blog. Please take a quick moment to let me know what you are most interested in hearing about. Thanks in advance!
I am taking on the challenge to share some happy encounters with children. This is easy because my own adorable children make me SO happy (most of the time) and I can’t pass on the opportunity to show them off. Here they are!
With their big, happy smiles
Enjoying the best kind of toys…non-toys, if you will
Dressing up (it’s the best!)
Lastly, here is a wonderfully repetitive performance of “99 Boxes of Juice on the Wall”. Though the videography is low quality, I greatly appreciate this video (I realize this could be solely due to me being a proud and biased mom). My favorite parts happen around 1:05 and 2:03. Enjoy!
Yesterday I happened upon a blog post called I’m jealous of SAHMs (stay at home moms). Being that I currently stay at home with my kids, this post caught my attention and after reading, I felt compelled to share my own thoughts on the topic.
I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be a stay at home mom
- Growing up I was never really good with kids. I didn’t know how to change a diaper until I had my own kids and I certainly never felt I could relate to anyone under the age of 12. When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I actually felt guilty that I didn’t want to work with children, that was the noble answer most people gave. Why didn’t I want to help kids? Turns out I enjoy communicating with adults and teenagers, but not so much the young’uns. I no longer feel guilty about this because I realize we all come out differently, with our own temperament, interests, desires, strengths, etc.
- I am pretty independent and enjoy following my own passions. Getting married was a big adjustment for me, let alone having two needy children to look after. In hind-sight, perhaps I am a bit too selfish to have had my own children, but it’s a bit late for that! And for the record, I do find it all worthwhile even though I have to temporarily give up some personal freedom.
So, how is it that I ended up staying home with my boys?
Perhaps a story can paint the picture. It was the evening of my first big fundraising event since being named Development Director at my job of 6 years. Prior to the event, I had been working tirelessly for months and it was taking a toll on me, my family, and my entire existence. I was spreading myself thin, working every night after my boys went to bed. Things between my husband and I were tense to say the least. Well, tonight was the big night, the culmination of all the hard work. Turns out it was a success, it was a beautiful event and we increased revenue by 50% from the previous year, hooray! Well, I came home that night and I didn’t feel excited, I didn’t feel like shouting hooray. I felt depressed and I wondered, is all of this worth it?
My life as a working mom wasn’t always this stressful but I’m honestly glad it became this stressful. In reaching this breaking point I came to the conclusion that no, this was not success for me. I hadn’t been a good mom, a good wife, or my best self in a while. I realized that I had been choosing my job and I needed to choose what was best for my family. For the first time, I really wanted to stay at home with my boys. I wanted to spend more time with them and become the best damn mom I could be to them. Four months after the big event, I took a leap of faith and quit my job.
How do I feel about all of this 6 months later?
I realize that staying home is not a viable option for everyone and some people don’t have the desire. But for me, I ask myself, why should I stress myself out with work AND home life, not see my children as much as I would like, and make next to no money after childcare expenses? I still have stress as a stay at home mom…obviously. The budget is tighter, the kids drive me crazy at times, and I can’t leave my day job and go home. On the flip side, I am getting to know my kids really well, they have greatly appreciated my consistent presence, and I now have the time and capacity to become a good mom, a good wife, and my best self.
Here’s a short video of my boys doing their favorite thing, “fighting”. While this doesn’t show anything special, it is a glimpse into my everyday as a stay at home mom… and I have to take the opportunity to show off my adorable boys 🙂
This was Day 12 of the Zero to Hero Challenge. Learn more here.
Transitioning from being a religious parent to a secular parent has been interesting. I used to “rely on god” to provide me strength in my parenting and somehow I did feel better believing that I was being guided by a higher power in raising my children. The reality is I was failing to address some of the issues I was having by simply putting a band-aid on the problem (by praying and trusting in something that wasn’t there) so I could feel better. But, I don’t want to beat up on my former self, I simply wish to learn from my mistakes so I can be a better parent today. The reality is, whether you’re religious or not, parenting is the hardest job you can ever have. Scary Mommy says it so well:
Now, as a freethinking, secular parent, I aim to have a more scientific approach by educating myself about evidence-based parenting methods and building a toolkit of resources and support systems. I hope to glean information from multiple sources and do my best to choose what’s right for my kids, myself, and my family as a whole.
My starting point…
Today I began attending a support group for parents of children ages 2 to 8, it’s called The Incredible Years. Apparently, with all its tears, guilt, anger, laughter, joy and love, these early years are remembered by most as pretty incredible. The group meets for 10 weeks and is focused on helping parents sort out issues they face with young children in order to set the stage for sensitive, nurturing and competent parenting. Today I was thrilled to sit with other parents, knowing we are all in the same boat… we don’t know what the hell we’re doing as parents!
Play, Play, Play
One of the things we were challenged to do in the upcoming week is to play with our kids for 10-15 minutes per day. This regular play is meant to cultivate bonding, positivity and fun, laying the foundation for a solid relationship now and in the future. Sometimes I get so caught up in life that I forget to sit down and play with my kids. And I almost never take the time to sit down individually with each of them because that has it’s own challenges. So, today, I sat down with each of them individually and played, and it was A LOT of fun! We built towers, knocked down towers, and played with play dough. I really enjoyed taking the time to listen and talk with each of my kids individually. All the people who talk up the importance of play… they are on to something! I look forward to more special time with my kids as we build this habit of playing together often.
Wish me well on starting this journey to build my parenting toolkit and support system. If you have any resources to share please put them in the comments! Until next time, I leave you with some wise words from an English poet:
Before I got married I had six theories about raising children; now, I have six children and no theories.
― John Wilmot
This was Day 6 of the Zero to Hero Challenge. Learn more here.