When I began my blog last summer I felt I needed an outlet for all my emotions regarding coming out of religion and losing faith. When I confided to my therapist that I was struggling with losing my faith, she questioned me about this, then eventually said,
“It seems you are completely comfortable with your loss of faith, what you seem to be struggling with is how others are responding to this change”.
I think that hits the nail on the head. For the most part, I am comfortable with who I am. What I hate dealing with is all the peripheral nonsense, mostly my close loved ones who are religious and don’t know how to deal with me now. And also, I have a hard time dealing with the loss of church community.
So, here I am 6 months after starting my godless blog, and I’m not sure all that godless stuff is as big of a deal anymore. It seems that each day that goes by I feel more and more comfortable in regards to my atheism and communicating with others about it. I am also building a great network of secular buddies which helps with the lost church community. While it’s not quite the same as church, that’s a good thing!
Then, at the end of January, I started the Zero to Hero blog challenge that forced me to publish content and move my blog forward. Through this whole process I find myself less interested in communicating about my atheism and more interested in communicating about my life in general. So, I guess I need to ask myself, is it even necessary that I continue to have a blog geared toward my lack of belief? Someone even pointed out the other day that when reading my about page, if you cover up my title, you might think my blog is about fitness. I feel that there are other things that really make up who I am. If I were to describe myself to someone, I don’t think my description would start with atheist. I would use words like: mom, wife, athletic, compassionate, nice, runner, aspiring yogi, friend, fun, excitable, passionate, etc. I am not sure I care enough about atheism as a large movement to try and work it into my conversations on a regular basis. I did enough evangelizing as a Christian, I really don’t want to proselytize for non-theism. That said, I REALLY want to stick around and blog more! I thoroughly enjoy being in the blogging community in order to maintain my sanity as a stay at home mom.
So, what should I do? Should I continue blogging but change directions and focus on fitness and motherhood? Or should I keep a secular slant as a part of my blog since it will likely come up from time to time? I welcome your input. And if you made it this far, thanks for listening to me think out loud!