I am drawn to his unique smell, his comforting touch, and his loving actions.
He is attractive, athletic, kind, straight-forward, and funny.
He values truth, wisdom, hard work, team work, logic and reason, science, love, family, and our children. He values what is best not just for himself but for me and our boys.
We enjoy many of the same things, yet we have personal interests that we allow each other to delight in separately. We appreciate each other’s humor. We laugh and cry together. And we continue to stand beside each other through all seasons of life (mundane, exciting, and exhausting). And through all of this we remain companions, best friends, lovers. We were born to be together!
My beliefs about myself vary from year to year, month to month, day to day, moment to moment. Most of what I believe about myself is good, but some of it is bad. Breathe deeply. Exhale. I believe I am…
I was prompted to write on this topic because I am participating in Women Who Write Rock, a writing retreat spearheaded by Helene Rose. Find out more about this amazing woman and the services she offers at her website Be Brilliant Network.
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Christians insist you’re sick, broken, inadequate and depraved. They convince you you’re in need of a cure. You feel down on yourself and guilty for things that you shouldn’t. Perhaps you feel helpless and in need of something different and new in your life. You’re in luck, Jesus can be your savior, JUST believe. Believe because the bible says so, believe in the unproven and unseen, believe without evidence, believe because it’s the social norm, believe because it’s what you’ve always known.
Since High School, my dream job has been the same, to be a high school track coach. It’s funny to me (and more than that, a bit sad) that I have never made any attempts to actualize this dream. I suppose my fear is that I’m being too nostalgic with the hopes that coaching would be as enjoyable as my own running years. I also fear that I have forgotten too much and now I don’t have the experience necessary to coach.
This dream of mine began over 15 years ago, why haven’t I explored how to make this dream a reality? Would I need to volunteer for a while first in order to get my foot in the door? Probably. Will it take a lot of work? Likely. But aren’t our dreams worth it?
Transitioning from being a religious parent to a secular parent has been interesting. I used to “rely on god” to provide me strength in my parenting and somehow I did feel better believing that I was being guided by a higher power in raising my children. The reality is I was failing to address some of the issues I was having by simply putting a band-aid on the problem (by praying and trusting in something that wasn’t there) so I could feel better. But, I don’t want to beat up on my former self, I simply wish to learn from my mistakes so I can be a better parent today. The reality is, whether you’re religious or not, parenting is the hardest job you can ever have. Scary Mommy says it so well:
Now, as a freethinking, secular parent, I aim to have a more scientific approach by educating myself about evidence-based parenting methods and building a toolkit of resources and support systems. I hope to glean information from multiple sources and do my best to choose what’s right for my kids, myself, and my family as a whole.
My starting point…
Today I began attending a support group for parents of children ages 2 to 8, it’s called The Incredible Years. Apparently, with all its tears, guilt, anger, laughter, joy and love, these early years are remembered by most as pretty incredible. The group meets for 10 weeks and is focused on helping parents sort out issues they face with young children in order to set the stage for sensitive, nurturing and competent parenting. Today I was thrilled to sit with other parents, knowing we are all in the same boat… we don’t know what the hell we’re doing as parents!
Play, Play, Play
One of the things we were challenged to do in the upcoming week is to play with our kids for 10-15 minutes per day. This regular play is meant to cultivate bonding, positivity and fun, laying the foundation for a solid relationship now and in the future. Sometimes I get so caught up in life that I forget to sit down and play with my kids. And I almost never take the time to sit down individually with each of them because that has it’s own challenges. So, today, I sat down with each of them individually and played, and it was A LOT of fun! We built towers, knocked down towers, and played with play dough. I really enjoyed taking the time to listen and talk with each of my kids individually. All the people who talk up the importance of play… they are on to something! I look forward to more special time with my kids as we build this habit of playing together often.
Wish me well on starting this journey to build my parenting toolkit and support system. If you have any resources to share please put them in the comments! Until next time, I leave you with some wise words from an English poet:
Before I got married I had six theories about raising children; now, I have six children and no theories.
― John Wilmot
This was Day 6 of the Zero to Hero Challenge. Learn more here.